


Did I Say That Out Loud

by soonhan



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Coffee Shops, Confessions, Fluff, M/M, Soonhan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-24
Updated: 2017-12-18
Packaged: 2018-10-10 00:40:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10425396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soonhan/pseuds/soonhan
Summary: They know they're not to kiss and tell... oh well.





	1. maybe nobody has ever kissed as well as you do

“You’re unusually chipper for a morning shift,” Seungcheol said, pausing from wiping down a table to watch Jeonghan practically float across the floor. He turned and gave Seungcheol a smile that he didn’t see often- usually he gave him a grin that meant trouble for anyone within a five mile radius, but this one was one of the most genuine and sweetest smile he’d ever witnessed the other man make. It made him highly suspicious.

“Just excited for the day I suppose,” he told him, his voice seeming to float on the same clouds as his feet, and he disappeared into the back room without giving Seungcheol a chance to question him further.

Droves of tired angry students and faculty were swarming the counters by the time Jeonghan came back out, preventing Seungcheol and him from talking since they were much too busy trying to get the hundreds of orders correct, and only when Seungcheol was bowing apologetically to a rightfully upset man with whipped cream on his specifically non-dairy order did he notice that the crowd had died down and he had been the last man in line. He took the drink from the man and promised that he’d remake it properly, nearly slamming into Jeonghan when he turned because he was leaning against the counter beside him staring off into space.

He opened his mouth to question him, but shut it when he remembered the drink he was holding. After the man finally got the right drink Seungcheol spun on his heel and fixed Jeonghan with an accusatory glare.

“Go on,” he started, pulling Jeonghan out of his daydream. He looked at Seungcheol with a wistful look in his eyes, and Seungcheol couldn’t fight the smile that threatened to break his attempt at intimidation. “What’s got you so far away?”

Jeonghan rested his chin in his hand, closing his eyes and tipping his head to the side. His coy act was as transparent as the plastic cups stacked beside him, the innocence in his eyes something Seungcheol had almost stopped falling for a while ago.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he replied airily, his other hand fiddling with a discarded coffee stirrer. Jeonghan was a terrible liar, which was odd considering it was one of his favourite hobbies.

“I nearly ran into you just now because you’re so distracted, what’s up?” Seungcheol said, leaning on the counter beside him. Jeonghan’s brows furrowed, realizing that his act wasn’t believable.

“I really shouldn’t say,” he said, lowering his eyes to the counter. His lips quirked up at the corner, telling Seungcheol that he’d like nothing more than to tell him everything. That only concerned Seungcheol more- usually Jeonghan wouldn’t hold back from telling him the gossip he’d heard that day or about the most recent man he’d embarrassed.

“I have a feeling you will anyway,” he replied, tapping his fingers on the edge of the wood and raising his eyebrows as an indication for Jeonghan to start talking. He got the faraway look in his eye again for a moment before he straightened up quickly and grabbed Seungcheol’s hand.

“I met someone,” he said, his voice regaining the dreamy quality it had held before. Seungcheol held his tongue- Jeonghan had met plenty of people, though he’d never really stayed in a relationship for very long. Jeonghan was alluring there was no doubt, but he loved hard and with all he had, and that was intimidating for a lot of people. Seungcheol felt Jeonghan squeeze his hand and he smiled warmly at him, and in that moment he wished him the best with this somebody new.

“What’re they like?” he prodded, and Jeonghan’s smile widened as he felt the grip on his hand loosen.

“Oh, he’s amazing,” he sighed, lifting his gaze to the ceiling. “He’s so funny and sweet and just the most charming person, Cheollie. I really think he’s the one.”

Seungcheol had heard that before, but he wasn’t going to rain on his parade. Instead he offered Jeonghan a bright smile and nodded encouragingly. He’d lost count of how many “the ones” had left Jeonghan through text or simply faded away, not that he wanted to spare them even a second thought.

“You’ll never guess how we met,” Jeonghan said, bouncing on the balls of his feet. His eyes shone with an excitement that was infectious and Seungcheol felt his heart swell fondly, holding back a laugh as Jeonghan swung his hand from side to side.

“Jihoonie invited him to karaoke night. Cheollie, he has the sweetest voice I’ve ever heard! And he even knew most of the choreography to Press Your Number,” he said, practically cooing.

“Yeah?” Seungcheol said, his smile widening. “Did you sing with him?”

“You know how I get when I drink,” Jeonghan replied, “I ended up inviting him to sing a love song, and I should probably be embarrassed but it was wonderful. He got so into it and held my hand, it was adorable…”

He was slipping further and further from the present, eyes lifting to the ceiling again and becoming unfocused. He was miles away, so far Seungcheol was worried he wouldn’t come back down. He linked fingers with Seungcheol’s, and Seungcheol laughed silently knowing that he was doing it unconsciously.

“And his lips, Cheollie! Oh my god they’re the prettiest, softest things ever,” Jeonghan continued, snapping back to attention and pressing his fingertips to his own lips softly.

“Wait, you’ve already kissed? When? How long have you known him?” Seungcheol asked, reeling back. Jeonghan smirked and tapped his cheek, looking quite pleased with himself.

“We had our third date last night. Looks like I can keep secrets from you after all.”

“Except for the fact you just told me everything.” Jeonghan scoffed and waved his hand in Seungcheol’s face, dismissing him. Seungcheol hit his hand away and Jeonghan frowned at him, cradling his hand as though it had been hurt badly. 

“I kept it from you for this long at least!” he said, indignant. His expression then softened, a sudden vulnerability that Seungcheol wasn’t used to seeing. Aside from the few times he’d caught him crying in the back room after a particularly harsh break-up, he’d never seen him really break.

“It was perfect… I think he kisses better than anyone I’ve ever kissed before.” Jeonghan dropped his eyes to the floor, in danger of drifting off into the memories of his most recent date once more.

“Even me?” Seungcheol asked. His eyes curved up with his smile, laughing warmly.

Jeonghan parted his lips before he grinned and leaned in to give Seungcheol a light peck that made him stumble back and knock over a sugar dispenser. He quickly righted it and whipped his head around to look at Jeonghan with wide eyes.

“You have to warn me before you do that!” he cried, clutching his chest in surprise. Jeonghan was delighted, clapping his hands and grinning from ear to ear.

“Why would I do that when you have the best reactions?”

“I’m sure your boyfriend wouldn’t appreciate hearing that,” Seungcheol grumbled, his cheeks still a brilliant red, wiping the back of his hand over his mouth like it could erase the kiss.

Jeonghan’s grin faded, his eyes darting to the windows at the front of the café. The sky outside was still light, painted pastel pinks and blues from the low sun that was still struggling to make its way up.

“He’s not my boyfriend,” he said, feeling his cheeks heat up at the word. Seungcheol sensed a “yet” on the tip of Jeonghan’s tongue, and he bit the inside of his cheek.

Jeonghan was so cute when he was in love, but he’d never hear the end of it if he admitted that out loud. He wouldn’t say Jeonghan became insufferable, but the near constant baby voice he’d had to endure the first time he made that mistake made him really consider whether befriending Jeonghan had been a blessing or a curse.

He had gone quiet now, refusing to meet Seungcheol’s eyes. Seungcheol rested his palm over top of their linked hands, watching Jeonghan squeeze his eyelids shut and take a deep breath before opening them and looking back up.

“He’s really special,” he said, his voice lowering to a near whisper. “I don’t want to scare him off, you know how I am.”

“If he can’t accept you for who you are, he doesn’t deserve you.” There was more anger in his voice than he really meant, but he was tired of seeing Jeonghan’s heart broken time and time again. If this new guy did anything to hurt Jeonghan, he’d have hell to pay from Seungcheol himself.

“You usually save that speech until after the break-up, Seungcheol,” Jeonghan said, smiling. It held a hint of sadness, the memories of loves lost dragging at the corners.

“I think he’ll appreciate it if you’re honest about who you are with him. If he doesn’t like you after that then he isn’t worth it, Hannie. You have a lot of love to give, you shouldn’t be afraid to show it. Don’t make yourself lesser for anyone.”

“And since when have I ever been honest with anyone,” Jeonghan replied, his tone attempting to be humorous. His lips tried to deceive with its smile, but Seungcheol could see the truth in his eyes. Jeonghan’s hands started to shake and Seungcheol pulled them up to his chest, holding them there firmly.

“You’re more honest about who you are without words,” he said, and then his mouth twitched up into a coy smile. “Which is why you’re so bad at lying.”

Jeonghan laughed and dropped his hands from Seungcheol’s chest, giving him a light smack before shoving them into his apron pockets. The sadness was gone from his face and the shake from his hands, and Seungcheol couldn’t be happier to see them go.

“Thanks, sometimes I need a reminder,” Jeonghan said, and Seungcheol nodded as a response. He understood the insecurities Jeonghan held behind the confidence he put out, possibly more than Jeonghan did himself.

“By the way, how are you making out with that cute med student?” Jeonghan asked, a worrying glint in his eye. The ease of how quickly Jeonghan could change moods was rather terrifying.

Seungcheol tensed and tossed a damp tea towel from the counter at Jeonghan, turning away to go stand at the register. Jeonghan followed after him, his normal devious smile present once more. Seungcheol wondered what he did wrong to deserve this sort of treatment.

“I’m not making out very well with him,” he said, face twisting from his poor choice of words. “But I did learn his name last time he was here…”

“Oh?” Jeonghan leaned on the counter, his eyes piercing into Seungcheol, begging for more information.

“As if I’d tell you,” Seungcheol scoffed, opening the register needlessly and sifting through the coins.

“Come on, what about that heart to heart we just had about my burgeoning love life? Besides, I already know his name.” Seungcheol wasn’t convinced that Jeonghan wasn’t lying, raising a disbelieving eyebrow at him. Jeonghan’s smile only widened, eyes narrowed devilishly.

“Well, maybe I’ll have a nice little chat with Seokmin the next time he comes in. I’m sure he’d be delighted to hear about your little crush on him considering he has one just as big on you.”

Seungcheol pushed Jeonghan away, covering his face and crouching down behind the counter. Jeonghan grinned down at him, reaching down to ruffle his hair.

“You’re the worst!”

The café echoed with laughter and wails, frightening the few sleepy customers that were lounging in the café armchairs trying to study in peace. It died down when more people came in to order, Seungcheol temporarily saved from the inevitable torment Jeonghan would unleash upon him once their shift was over. He could only hope to escape from the café before Jeonghan was ready to leave, but even then he was only delaying it more. He decided befriending him was a definitely and absolutely a curse.


	2. it's greater than gravity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been a while but here's an update ^^;

The campus had finally started changing into the warm colours that signified the beginning of fall, a tapestry of oranges and browns and reds from the leaves on the trees and the carpet that covered the ground. It was still warm enough outside that even the light jackets that the morning chill called for were shed in the late afternoon.

Soonyoung had been lying on the gazebo behind the art wing for about an hour, soaking in the sun and watching the clouds pass overhead. His foot was tapping along to his music, and he was daydreaming about himself performing it. He closed his eyes and saw himself dancing to the song in some flashy outfit, basking in the cheers from the fans, and then out of nowhere a second dancer came out and looped his arm around his waist. He leaned in close enough that Soonyoung had to sit up and open his eyes to dispel the image, the feeling of his lips nearly brushing his own so vivid that he tried to shake it out of his head.

Across the field, two students came out of the building and made their way over, and when they got close enough he saw that it was Seokmin and Seungkwan. He hopped off the gazebo and met them halfway, the daydream still swimming in his head.

“Ready for lunch?” Seokmin asked, reaching out to pull Soonyoung into a half hug. When Seokmin let him go he doubled over and grabbed his stomach with a grimace.

“Absolutely, what took you guys so long?”

“Our class only just got out,” Seungkwan said, rolling his eyes. “You’d think that after high school teachers wouldn’t still employ that ‘the bell doesn’t dismiss you, I do’ bullshit.”

“But we weren’t just going to leave.” Seokmin looked visibly uncomfortable at the thought of skipping class, and Seungkwan seemed to feel the same way.

“Well, no,” Seungkwan replied, sighing. “If I’m gonna pay for classes I’m damn well not gonna skip them.”

Soonyoung wrapped his arms around both their waists and started walking them towards the entrance of the campus, humming along to the melody of the song he was listening to before they arrived. They continued to chatter around him, and every so often he’d nod in response to something they directed at him, but he was mostly off in his daydream again.

It was only when they were seated at a picnic table in a park off-campus that his inattentiveness was addressed. He was tapping on the surface of the table, nibbling on the ends of his chopsticks and staring up at the clouds passing by without really paying attention to the conversation when Seungkwan finally said something.

“Soonyoung you’ve been fidgeting this whole time, what’s up with you?” Seungkwan leaned across the table to look him in the eye, his expression a mixture of concern and aggravation. Soonyoung looked away.

“Yeah, you seem really distracted,” Seokmin piped up, swallowing around the mouthful of food he had just crammed into his mouth. Seungkwan raised an eyebrow at him.

“As if you noticed, all you’ve been doing is stuffing your face.” Seokmin looked affronted, reaching over to snag something out of Seungkwan’s container in retaliation. He pursed his lips at him and stuffed the food in his mouth, grinning when Seungkwan sneered at him.

Soonyoung took his chopsticks out of his mouth and rolled them between his fingers- the image of the other dancer in his daydream becoming clear in his mind once more. He could feel his face starting to heat up remembering his smile, his voice, his eyes. His teeth sunk into the inside of his lip, and he cleared his throat.

“I guess I have been a bit floaty today,” he admitted. His leg started to bounce anxiously.

“Are you okay?” Seokmin asked. The genuine concern made Soonyoung’s heart twinge, and he could only imagine the things that the pair of them were coming up with for what could be bothering him. Probably nothing good.

“Well, I was sort of hoping to keep it a secret until things got more serious, but…” He was cut off before he even got a chance to explain himself.

“Serious?”

“How serious, what’s serious?”

The both of them were staring at him with huge eyes, leaning far across the table towards him. He felt his voice falter in his throat and he swallowed around the apprehension.

“I met someone.”

It was as though he lit the fuse on a box of fireworks, and the explosion of questions that came at him was overwhelming and almost incomprehensible. Seokmin talked over Seungkwan, who spoke up louder to try and make himself heard over Seokmin. Soonyoung shrunk back in his seat. He had to hold up his hands in surrender just to get them to be quiet.

“One at a time maybe?” Seungkwan and Seokmin stopped and shared a look, managing to look somewhat apologetic. Seungkwan motioned for Seokmin to go first, and he whipped his head towards Soonyoung.

“First of all, who?” Who indeed. Soonyoung could probably write an essay on him and everything about him, if he liked writing essays even a little. He let out a wistful sigh unconsciously, which made his friends’ eyes light up.

“His name is Jeonghan.” Even his name was beautiful. So much of him was. Soonyoung had to stop himself from slipping back into his daydream just so he could see his face emerge from the shadows, framed by his long soft-looking brown hair. He wished he’d had the courage to run his fingers through it the night they’d met.

“The name sounds familiar, do I know him?” Seungkwan asked. He tried to think of anyone in his class that had the same name, but he drew a blank.

“Well, you were there when we met actually. It was at karaoke, just a few nights ago,” Soonyoung told him. Seungkwan hit the table with the flat of his palm and pointed at him in triumph. Seokmin jumped at the sound and held his hand over his heart.

“I knew it! Kwon Soonyoung, how did I know he’d be your type?”

“What can I say? I’m a sucker for a guy that likes SHINee.” Soonyoung laughed, his expression turning sheepish. He wondered if Seungkwan had guessed he would be into Jeonghan at all or if he was just saying that to seem like he already knew. From how they were at karaoke, he could see how it wouldn't be hard to guess.

“Oh Soonie, I’m so happy for you. Have you started shopping for a wedding tux yet?” Seungkwan clasped his hands together, batting his eyelashes at him.

“No need to be sarcastic,” he said, dropping his eyes to the table. The smile faded from his lips and he stared at an unidentifiable stain for a long moment. “I think… I really like him.”

Seungkwan watched him carefully, dipping one of his fries a couple times before going to eat it, only to have Seokmin grab his wrist and eat it right out of his hand. He sighed and pushed his fries over to him, opening his mouth to speak.

“So, are you two official?” Seokmin asked, cutting Seungkwan off just as he was about to talk.

“You interrupted me, I was going to ask him that,” Seungkwan huffed.

“You got three questions! It was my turn,” he whined back. Seungkwan furrowed his brow before he realized it was true, and he leaned against Seokmin’s larger frame with an apologetic smile. He accepted it easily, popping two more fries into his mouth and pinching Seungkwan’s cheek.

“If you two are done… I’m not sure, actually. We’ve only been on one date. He actually texted me the day after karaoke to go out.” And with shaking hands and burning red cheeks he had said yes. Just the memory made the tips of his ears start to turn pink.

“Where did you go?” 

“Just to get coffee. He was a bit tired after the late night before.” He remembered that Jeonghan had wanted to go anywhere but the coffee shop closest to the campus, the reason for which he later discovered was because he worked there and was sick of the coffee.

“And he still wanted to go out on a date? Seems serious to me.”

He knew Seungkwan was probably just teasing, but Soonyoung felt his heart skip a beat. The date had gone amazingly, at least he felt like it had. Jeonghan had laughed at pretty much everything Soonyoung had said, and Soonyoung found himself unable to look away from him the entire time, and before either of them had realized it was much later then they expected. He certainly hadn’t wanted to say goodbye, and if he had any form of intuition, it seemed like Jeonghan would have kept their night going if he could. If he had thought he was doomed at karaoke, Jeonghan just proved that things could be a lot more dangerous with a single date.

He was even daydreaming about him already.

“Soonyoung? Hello?”

With a start he found Seokmin and Seungkwan staring at him, and he lifted his chin from his hand with the sneaking suspicion he had been staring off in the distance for a lot longer than he thought.

“You’ve got it that bad, huh?” Seungkwan wasn’t even trying to hide his grin. Soonyoung could feel his cheeks and ears burning, and he tugged at one of his lobes self-consciously.

“You don’t think I’m getting ahead of myself, do you? What if he’s only looking for something casual?” he asked, feeling a twist in his gut now that that possibility had crossed his mind. He could be misreading everything that Jeonghan had said and done. His head started to fill with outcomes for the relationship that had barely even started, and he was suddenly terrified.

“You’re worried he’s looking for something casual? You’ve never held a relationship for longer than maybe a week, and how many times have I caught you making out with people you hardly even know? How many times have you tried to kiss us?” What Seungkwan was saying was the truth, but it only made the fear Soonyoung was feeling even worse.

“I guess I am getting ahead of myself... What if I’m the one who ends up hurting him? What if I just move on after a week and he hates me for the rest of his life?”

Seokmin reached across the table and covered Soonyoung’s hands in his own, his palms warm and solid. Soonyoung stared down at their hands and then looked back up with wide eyes.

“I’ve never seen you like this, so I think I can say pretty confidently that this isn’t like any other relationship you’ve had before. As for Jeonghan, you said he messaged you the next day?” Soonyoung nodded and a slow smile crept onto Seokmin's face. “That sounds a little more than casual to me.”

There was no reason for him to cry, but Soonyoung still felt like he could start bawling at any second. Seungkwan placed his hands over Seokmin’s, the emotion in his eyes much softer than the sharpness of the teasing they'd held only moments before.

“He’s right. The only time you ever really talk about anyone you’ve been with is usually about things I kind of wish you’d keep to yourself,” Seungkwan paused with a grimace, shaking his head. “But this is more than your usual one-night stand talk. He sounds special, and from what I remember from karaoke, he seems like a pretty cool guy too.”

There was a high shout from Seungkwan as Soonyoung thrust himself over the table to throw his arms around them, tucking his face between their shoulders. He felt Seokmin laugh into his hair and wrap an arm around him, followed by Seungkwan’s arm around his waist and his fingers digging into his side.

“Thank you guys. You really help me out, you know that?” He was talking into their sweaters so it was a bit muffled, but he was afraid if he moved he would start to cry immediately.

“Of course, dummy. Who else would be smart enough to help you with your big important problems?” Seungkwan said, leaning his head against Soonyoung’s. They could feel him start to shake and looked at each other wide-eyed over him, only for him to pull back with a gasping laugh.

“Man, you guys must be sick of how much I talk about me. Here I am freaking out about a first date, meanwhile Seungkwan hasn’t told me whether or not his date from karaoke has texted back or not.”

Soonyoung’s ass met the ground pretty quickly after that, and even with Seungkwan’s face turned away from him he could tell he had gone bright pink, especially from how loudly Seokmin was laughing. He couldn’t be happier for the friends he had, even if at that moment there was a real possibility that he was a second away from being killed in his sleep that night. He knew he wouldn’t have it any other way.


End file.
